Sports Day

Here’s an embarrassing confession: When I was at school I was a prefect. I’m not even sure if they have prefects at school these days but nonetheless back in the depths of the ‘90s I was a prefect. And I was shit at sports too.
Being a prefect at my school meant several things. First, you had a different tie (which to be fair is better than it sounds as our school tie was a lovely clashing purple and yellow), you got to beat the one-way systems in the school corridors (don’t even ask!) and most importantly you got to push in the front of the queue for the tuck shop. However, being a prefect also meant you had certain duties. One of which was helping organize sports day and make sure it went smoothly.
So there I am on this bloody windy field with my brand new and very much not purple tie while all these proper sporty types are doing stretches and whatnot all around me. I’m sure you’ve realized by now that this story ends with me looking like a twat. Well, long story short, the wind whipped up a bit and my tie got caught in the wind. I had a little prefect badge on my tie and it caught me in the eye. Needless to say it really hurt and everyone laughed at my red eye on sports day. I wasn’t even bloody well competing and I still managed to get injured.
So you can understand why I’m in favour of scrapping sports days. Personal motivations yes but think about it for a moment. Imagine yeah, if we scrapped sports day and replaced them with Nymphic Games. Watch the new St Teenycums tonight at 10pm on televisionX. Much much better than sports day.

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